You can help a child with homesickness at camp by preparing them before they leave, talking positively about the experience, practicing time away from home, and trusting that the feeling almost always passes within the first few days. Research by Dr. Christopher Thurber at Phillips Exeter Academy found that 83% of campers experience homesickness on at least one day of camp, but less than 1% actually leave because of it, according to data from the University of Maryland Extension. Homesickness is one of the most normal parts of the camp experience, and with the right preparation, it does not have to stand in the way of an amazing summer.
In this article, we cover why kids get homesick, what triggers it, how long it lasts, what parents can do before and during camp to help, how counselors support homesick campers, and when to be concerned. Whether your daughter is heading to camp for the first time or has been before, this guide will help you both feel ready.
Why Do Kids Get Homesick at Camp?
Kids get homesick at camp because they are separated from the people, routines, and familiar surroundings that make them feel safe. Homesickness is not a sign of weakness or immaturity. It is a natural emotional response to being away from home. Dr. Michael Thompson, author of “Homesick and Happy,” has described homesickness as “the natural, inevitable consequence of leaving home.” Every child who loves their family will feel at least a small tug when they are apart.
A study published in the Journal of Clinical Child Psychology by Dr. Thurber and colleagues found that risk factors for more intense homesickness include little previous experience being away from home, a child’s perception that they have low control over the situation, and high levels of anxiety before camp begins. Girls who have never slept away from home, or who were pressured to attend camp rather than choosing it themselves, tend to feel homesickness more strongly.
The good news is that homesickness is predictable, and that means it is also preventable. Dr. Thurber’s research, published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, found that a combination of preparation and coping education reduced the intensity of homesickness in first-year campers by an average of 50%. That is a significant drop, and it shows that what parents do before camp matters enormously.
What Triggers Homesickness the Most?
The things that trigger homesickness the most are bedtime, quiet moments, rainy days, and the first 24 to 48 hours of camp. Research from the American Camp Association and Dr. Thurber shows that homesickness peaks during downtime, especially at night when a child is lying in bed with nothing to distract her from missing home.
Other common triggers include receiving a sad or overly emotional letter from a parent, seeing other campers get packages, or having a rough day socially. A girl who has a small disagreement with a cabin mate might feel a wave of homesickness not because the disagreement was serious, but because it makes her wish she were in the comfort of her own room.
The tips we share with parents before camp include keeping letters cheerful, avoiding promises to pick a child up early, and reminding your daughter that feeling homesick is completely normal. When a parent writes “We miss you so much, the house is so empty without you,” it can make homesickness worse. A better approach is “We are so proud of you! Tell us about your favorite activity so far.”
How to Comfort a Child Who Is Homesick
To comfort a child who is homesick, acknowledge her feelings without making them bigger. Tell her it is normal to miss home. Remind her of all the fun things she gets to do at camp. Encourage her to talk to her counselor, write a letter, or throw herself into the next activity. The worst thing a parent can do is rush to pick her up, because that teaches her that uncomfortable feelings are something to escape rather than work through.
Dr. Thurber and the ACA recommend that parents encourage independence throughout the year by practicing separations like sleepovers at a friend’s house or a weekend at a relative’s home. These small separations give a child practice being away from home in a safe, familiar context. By the time camp arrives, the feeling of sleeping somewhere new is not as scary.
If your daughter calls home crying, stay calm. Validate her emotions by saying something like “I hear you, and it makes sense that you miss us.” Then redirect the conversation by asking what she did that day, who she sat with at lunch, or what activities she has planned tomorrow. Most of the time, a short, upbeat conversation is enough to get her through the moment. The counselors at a well-run camp are trained to step in after the call and help her re-engage with her friends and activities.
What Is the Psychology Behind Homesickness?
The psychology behind homesickness is rooted in attachment theory. When a child is separated from their primary caregivers, the brain’s attachment system activates, producing feelings of longing, sadness, and anxiety. Dr. Thurber’s research defines homesickness as “the distress or impairment caused by an actual or anticipated separation from home, characterized by preoccupying thoughts of home and attachment objects.”
In simpler terms, a homesick child’s brain keeps pulling her thoughts back to the people and places she feels safest with. This is not something she can turn off with willpower alone. It is a biological response. The key to managing it is giving the brain new things to focus on, which is exactly what a busy camp schedule does.
Research published in the journal Pediatrics by Dr. Thurber and Dr. Edward Walton of the University of Michigan found that children who socialize and exercise vigorously during camp experience less homesickness-related distress. This makes sense. When a girl is swimming in the river, laughing with her cabin mates, or learning a new skill, her brain is engaged with the present moment instead of dwelling on home.
How Long Does It Take to Overcome Homesickness?
It takes most children 1 to 3 days to overcome homesickness at camp. The first night and the second morning are usually the hardest. By the second or third day, the daily routine kicks in, friendships start forming, and the fun of camp takes over. According to the ACA, the vast majority of homesick campers feel significantly better within the first 48 hours.
Dr. Thurber’s research shows that about 7% of homesickness cases are severe, meaning the child is not eating, not sleeping, or not participating in activities after several days. In those rare situations, the camp staff and parents should work together to decide the best course of action, which may include going home. But for 93% of campers, the homesickness fades on its own as the child settles in.
We see this pattern every summer. A girl who cried at drop-off on Saturday is leading a campfire song by Tuesday. The transformation happens because camp gives her so much to do and so many people to connect with that the homesick feelings simply run out of room.
What to Do If Your Kid Is Homesick at Camp
If your kid is homesick at camp, the best thing to do is trust the process and let the camp staff help. Call the camp office if you are worried, but avoid making a surprise visit or calling your daughter directly unless the camp encourages it. Many camps limit phone calls because they can restart the homesickness cycle just when a child was starting to feel better.
The ACA and Dr. Thurber suggest these steps for parents whose child is homesick:
- Write cheerful, upbeat letters that focus on what she is doing, not on how much you miss her.
- Avoid promising to pick her up early. That gives her an escape route instead of encouraging her to push through.
- Trust the counselors. They are trained to identify and support homesick children.
- Remind yourself that homesickness is temporary and that working through it builds resilience.
- Focus on the positive. A child who overcomes homesickness gains a powerful sense of accomplishment.
A girl who learns to work through homesickness at age 8 or 9 is better prepared for every future separation, from her first sleepover to her first day of college. That is one of the most valuable gifts camp provides.
At What Age Do Kids Get Homesick?
Kids can get homesick at any age, but homesickness is most common in children between 7 and 12 years old. Dr. Thurber’s research included boys and girls from ages 8 to 16, and he found that younger children and first-time campers tend to experience more intense homesickness than older or returning campers.
That does not mean older kids are immune. A 14-year-old attending a new camp for the first time may feel homesick too, especially during the first day or two. The difference is that older children usually have more coping skills and recover faster.
The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that most children are ready for overnight camp by about age 7 or 8. The ACA reports that kids between 8 and 12 make up about half of all summer campers. For younger first-timers, a shorter camp session, like a one-week stay, can be a great way to experience camp without the pressure of a longer commitment.
How Parents Can Prevent Homesickness Before Camp
Parents can prevent homesickness before camp by preparing their daughter emotionally, practicing separations, and building excitement about the experience. Dr. Thurber’s 2005 study found that a multimodal prevention approach, combining information about the camp environment with coping education and practice time away from home, reduced homesickness intensity by 50% in first-year campers.
Talk Positively About Camp
Start talking about camp weeks before the session begins. Show her photos and videos of the campus. Go over the daily schedule so she knows what to expect. The more familiar camp feels before she arrives, the less scary the first day will be. Research from the American Psychological Association confirmed that children who were educated about what camp looks like and how it works before they arrived reported significantly less intense homesickness.
Practice Separations
Have your daughter spend a night or two at a friend’s or relative’s house before camp. This gives her practice sleeping away from home in a safe setting. If she does well at a sleepover, she will feel more confident about camp. If she struggles, you can work through those feelings together before the bigger separation happens.
Involve Her in the Packing
Let your daughter help pack her trunk and pick out her camp outfits. This gives her a sense of ownership over the experience. Include a comfort item from home, like a stuffed animal or a family photo. These small tokens of home can make a big difference during the first few nights.
Avoid the “Pickup Deal”
Never promise to pick your daughter up early if she does not like camp. Dr. Thurber’s research consistently shows that this “pickup deal” is one of the strongest predictors of intense homesickness. It gives the child an exit plan, which means she spends her energy thinking about how to go home instead of investing in the camp experience. Instead, say “You are going to have an amazing time, and I cannot wait to hear all about it when you get back.”
How Camp Counselors Help with Homesickness
Camp counselors help with homesickness by keeping campers busy, building relationships, normalizing the feeling, and redirecting a child’s attention toward fun activities and new friendships. At an ACA-accredited camp, counselors go through specific training on how to identify, support, and help a homesick child before the summer even begins.
A good counselor does not dismiss a child’s feelings. She acknowledges them, validates them, and then gently guides the child back into the group. That might mean sitting with her for a few minutes and listening, then walking together to the next activity. It might mean pairing her with a friendly cabin mate who can help her feel included. The goal is to help the child feel seen without letting homesickness become the center of her camp experience.
The camp’s daily schedule is one of the most effective tools against homesickness. When a girl is busy with horseback riding in the morning, crafts in the afternoon, and campfire songs at night, there is very little time for sad thoughts to take hold. The structure of camp is intentionally designed to keep every minute engaging.
Homesickness Prevention and Response Strategies
| Strategy | When to Use | Why It Works | Research Support |
| Practice sleepovers before camp | Weeks or months before camp | Builds comfort with sleeping away from home | ACA and Dr. Thurber recommend practice separations as a key prevention tool |
| Educate child about camp activities and layout | Before camp | Reduces fear of the unknown | APA study found that informed campers had 22% less intense homesickness |
| Write cheerful, short letters | During camp | Keeps connection positive without amplifying sadness | ACA recommends upbeat mail to reduce homesickness triggers |
| Stay busy with activities | During camp | Engages the brain in the present moment | Thurber and Walton (Pediatrics) found exercise and socializing reduce distress |
| Talk to a counselor | During camp | Validates feelings and provides adult support | ACA training standards include homesickness intervention for all counselors |
| Avoid the “pickup deal” | Before camp | Removes the exit plan that fuels homesick thinking | Thurber’s research identifies this as a top predictor of severe homesickness |
| Bring a comfort item from home | Before and during camp | Provides a tangible connection to home | Widely recommended by camp psychologists and the ACA |
Sources: Dr. Christopher Thurber, Phillips Exeter Academy; American Camp Association; Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (2005); Pediatrics (2007); American Psychological Association; University of Maryland Extension.
Is Homesickness a Form of Depression?
No, homesickness is not a form of depression. Homesickness is a temporary emotional response to separation from home, while depression is a clinical condition that persists over time and affects many areas of a person’s life. Dr. Thurber has been clear in his research that homesickness, even when intense, is a normal reaction, not a mental health disorder.
However, in about 7% of cases, homesickness can become severe enough to interfere with eating, sleeping, and participation in activities. If a child shows these signs for more than a few days and is not improving, parents and camp staff should communicate and consider whether it is best for the child to go home. Going home early is not a failure. It simply means the child may benefit from trying again next year with more preparation.
For the vast majority of children, homesickness fades quickly and is replaced by one of the most positive experiences of their childhood. The ACA’s Youth Outcomes Study found that 92% of campers say camp helped them build self-esteem, and many parents report that overcoming homesickness was a turning point in their daughter’s confidence.
What Are the Emotional Stages of Homesickness?
The emotional stages of homesickness typically move from anticipation and anxiety before camp, to a peak of sadness and longing during the first 24 to 48 hours, followed by gradual adjustment as the child settles into routines and friendships, and finally a feeling of pride and belonging as she realizes she can do this on her own.
Not every child follows this exact pattern, but the general arc is consistent. The first stage, anticipation, begins days or even weeks before camp. A girl might alternate between excitement and nervousness. The second stage, the initial wave of homesickness, usually hits hardest at bedtime on the first night or the morning of the second day. The third stage, adjustment, happens as the child starts to connect with cabin mates and enjoy camp activities. The fourth stage, belonging, is when she stops thinking about home and starts calling camp “my camp.”
We see girls move through these stages every session. The girl who cried at check-in is often the same girl who cries on closing day because she does not want to leave. That shift is one of the most rewarding things we witness as camp directors.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to Decrease Homesickness?
To decrease homesickness, stay busy with activities, talk to a counselor or trusted friend, write a letter home, and focus on what you are doing right now instead of what you are missing. Research by Dr. Thurber published in the journal Pediatrics found that children who socialize and exercise vigorously during camp experience less homesickness-related sadness. Keeping the body active and the mind engaged is the most effective remedy.
What to Do with Kids Who Are Homesick?
With kids who are homesick, acknowledge their feelings without amplifying them, then redirect their attention to a fun activity or a new friend. Avoid letting the child call home repeatedly, as phone calls can restart the homesickness cycle. The ACA recommends that counselors validate the child’s emotions, help them identify what they enjoy about camp, and encourage participation in the next scheduled activity.
Can Homesickness Happen Even to Returning Campers?
Yes, homesickness can happen even to returning campers, though it is usually milder and shorter. A returning camper might feel a brief wave of sadness on the first night, especially if her favorite counselor or cabin mate from last year is not there. But because she already knows the routines and traditions, she typically adjusts much faster than a first-time camper.
Should I Send My Child to Camp Even If She Gets Homesick?
Yes, you should still consider sending your child to camp even if she has gotten homesick before. Dr. Thurber’s research shows that children who work through homesickness develop greater resilience, independence, and self-confidence. The key is better preparation the second time around, including practice separations, positive conversations about camp, and a shorter session if needed.
Does Writing Letters Help with Homesickness?
Yes, writing letters helps with homesickness because it gives a child a constructive way to stay connected with home without the emotional intensity of a phone call. The ACA recommends that parents write short, cheerful letters that focus on what the child is doing at camp rather than how much the family misses her. Letters that say “Tell me about your favorite day so far” work much better than letters that say “We miss you so much.”
How Do I Know If My Child’s Homesickness Is Too Severe?
Your child’s homesickness may be too severe if she is not eating, not sleeping, refusing to participate in activities, or crying persistently after 3 or more days. Dr. Thurber’s research found that about 7% of campers experience severe homesickness. If you are concerned, call the camp office and speak with the director or head counselor. A good camp will give you an honest update and work with you to decide the best path forward for your daughter.
Putting It All Together
Homesickness is one of the most common experiences at camp, and it is also one of the most manageable. With the right preparation before camp and the right support during camp, the vast majority of girls push through homesickness within the first few days and go on to have one of the best experiences of their lives. The research from Dr. Thurber, the American Camp Association, and the American Psychological Association all point to the same conclusion: preparation works, staying busy helps, and the growth that comes from working through homesickness is worth every tear.
At Riverview Camp for Girls, we have decades of experience helping girls and families through the homesickness journey. Our campus in Mentone, Alabama is filled with activities, friendships, and traditions that give every camper something to look forward to from morning to night. If you have questions about how we support homesick campers or want to learn more about preparing your daughter for her first session, give us a call at 256-634-4043. We are here to help.
